Complaints My Great, Great Grandmother Made Since Being Reanimated After More Than 100 Years in the Grave

•   Really?  That's the headstone they bought for me?  Feh!
•   No, I don't want to eat your brains!  Not without a little chicken schmaltz.
•   Who do you have to kill to get a potato knish around here?
•   When I was a girl we had to give our coats to the horse because coats are for when you work for a living!
•   This was such a beautiful neighborhood, until the Protestants moved in.  Them and their bland cooking!
•   You could burn a lump of coal in here every once in a while.  It's colder than a carp's tuchis in here!
•   Television?  Why do I want to see something that happened in Los Angeles three weeks ago?
•   The president's a what?
•   Oy! My skin is so dry!  Especially when it's sloughing off in 1-pound slabs!
•   Schlomo Rosenberg, now that was a knish salesman!
•   In my day, you only had a cat if you had a rat.
•   Wipe off that lipstick!  Your mouth looks like a hen's tuchis in cherry season!
•   You expect me to go in the house?  That's disgusting!  Where's the outhouse?
•   This is music?  He's just shouting.  That trollop should put some clothes on!
•   We didn't have a toaster.  We toasted day-old bread over a candle!
•   We were so poor, our roaches moved to a better neighborhood!
•   Our apartment was so small, only one person could be in it at a time.  When we moved out they made it into a casket!
•   McKinley's dead?  I didn't even know he was sick!
•   Yes, we had telephones.  I'm not that old.  Now my grandmother, she was 2 years younger than G-d.
•   A shower every day is a waste of water.  Water is for when you work for a living!
•   We lived far out in the country.  You know, Brooklyn.
•   I need a telephone in my purse like a need a hole in the head!
•   If I had known my great, great grandson would marry a shikse...  Feh!  I have no great, great grandson!